I hate mascara. It’s probably one of the most unpopular opinions that I have, but I don’t wear it, and I cannot stand it. I hate mascara, and I think it is the absolute worst.
A lot of people commented on my Snapchat makeup tutorial that I don’t use mascara–it’s kind of funny, considering that I used like fifty eyeliners. And I don’t just have one reason…I have multiple.
NOTE: This is all my personal views and opinions, and quite honestly this post is coming from a place of Jezebel-y humor.
But seriously, I really do think mascara is the worst.
- Mascara needs to be changed so frequently. The average time you are supposed to keep a mascara before you need to change it is three months. THREE MONTHS. At one point, my friend told me that she’s been using the same tube for two years. TWO YEARS. That’s twenty four months, so 8 mascara changes! For me, if I keep a mascara for longer than a month, my eyes get styes.
- Mascara adds up. Multiply your mascara cost by four. That is how much mascara costs per year if you change it like you are supposed to! That’s a lot. For me, I have to multiply by like, twelve because my eyes can’t stand a tube for more than a month.
- Mascara irritates my eyes. “But Chrissey, can’t you make your own mascara, or use an all-natural mascara?” I have attempted both. My lash line is just really, really sensitive to the point where I never tight line, and I have just given up on using mascara completely.
- Mascara gives me eye styes. As if that was not made clear in the previous statements. It’s ALWAYS because of mascara. Always. I stopped wearing mascara a year ago, and my life has changed for the better.
- Mascara gets all clumpy and heavy on my lashes. I hate the feeling of wearing mascara, and my eyelashes feel like they’re being pulled down by tiny black nanobots hell-bent on annoying me all day.
- Mascara gets everywhere. Shirts, glasses, pillows, your boyfriend’s shoulder when you fall asleep during Fast and Furious 7. Everywhere.
- Mascara flakes are the worst. They get all on your under-eye area, and it makes you look like little nanobots were mascara-mining on your eyelashes.
- Mascara gives me something to pick at. I always used to pick my eyelashes when I wore mascara, and it was a bad habit.
- Mascara is unnecessary. Well, maybe this is just me, because my lashes are pretty full and long, and my hair is black. My lashes are much better off without it.
- Mascara gets everywhere when you apply it. It ruins your eyeliner, eyeshadow, and sometimes your face makeup. It’s a pain in the butt to apply, which is why weird things like mascara shields exist.
- Mascara is a pain in the butt to wash off. I am pretty sure that it was meant to sell more mascara, because every time I would wash it off, lashes would come falling off of my eyelids as if they were trying to escape.
- Mascara somehow never fully leaves. This is probably just me, but every time I wash it off, I never fully get all of it off. There’s always a tiny, small amount of residue that magically appears the next morning. That’s shady.
This is why I think mascara is the worst, and you will not see me wearing it. Ninety-nine percent of the population disagree, and maybe I’m being hyperbolic, but mascara is the worst. I definitely don’t regret cutting it out of my regime, and I quite honestly don’t think anyone notices when they see me in-person.
(Plus it saves me so much time in the morning, and money. Not just in mascara, but in coconut oil and makeup wipes too!)