When do you know exactly to cut the cord with an ex? The social media cord, of course, that links the two of you together. With so many forms of social media, it’s not hard to keep tabs on your ex, whether you’re trying to or not. No, but guys, I’m serious.
How many times have you been scrolling through your timeline, only to see a picture of your ex? Or casually watching someone’s story, and having their goofy face magically appear?
And I’m sure you’re thinking, “What’s the harm of having your ex as a Facebook or Snapchat friend?”
Well, because it’s so easy for you to creep on them (or for them to creep on you)! Once you start falling down that social media rabbit hole, I guarantee that you’ll be listening to sad Drake songs and contemplating calling them on the phone…which is a terrible idea.
Seriously, you don’t want to be that weirdo trying to keep tabs on your ex (even if you’re in a weird situation where they ask you to wait two years for them and you think you’re going to get back together!).
Plus, by having your ex as a Snapchat, Instagram, or whatever follower, you totally end up stunting for the camera. You send up posting cute selfies, and videos of yourself out having fun. Whether or not it’s intentional, you totally end up showing them how great you’re doing in order to evoke something out of them! It’s an unconscious thing that people do, whether they realize it or not.
Plus if you post pitiful Snapchats of you eating hot cheetos…or on a date, do you really want them to see that? C’mon now. It’s so easy to stay connected to people via social media, even if you’re not intending to.
And now, here comes the question, “When exactly do you delete them?”
This wise girl I used to be friends with, named Alex told me you have to, as soon as you break up with them so that you don’t see them over your timeline.But this is what I think- you delete them when you are done. (PS, which should be right when you break up). I think that being connected social media-wise is a little bit hindering to the healing process after a while, but in the beginning it’s one of those natural things in a break up where you want to peek once in a while.
You delete them when you move forward, for real. Even if it requires you playing Fight Song by Rachel Platten in the background when you delete them from Facebook (sometimes I am dramatic like that). Only to realize your phone is dead, so you have to wait for it to charge before you dramatically delete them from Snapchat too. (I’m not going to lie, I hesitated for a moment with Snapchat, wondering to myself, “But what’s the harm of him seeing my cute selfies?”)
THE HARM IS YOU SENDING HIM DRUNK SNAPS.
And because I am a truly candid person, I will post all of the concerns that I had before finally cutting the social media cord, a few months ago.
(If you are truly strong like Alex, then you block them also…but I’m not that mean or strong, okay.)
BUT HOW WILL THEY EVER CONTACT ME?
The point is that they’re not supposed to!
That’s the point of deleting them out of of social media…deleting them out of your life! Okay, this is how I view things- if they didn’t want to be deleted, then they wouldn’t have dumped you! They should have known that this was a possibility. Trust me, guys don’t dump girls that they want to keep, no matter how long they ask you to wait for them, or how nicely they say it.
Plus, if the guy on Twitter whose girlfriend messaged him on DirectTV taught us anything, it’s that when there’s a will, there’s a way. If they really wanted to contact you, they’d find a way. And don’t try telling me otherwise- they’re not living under a rock. If they have Wifi (or even dial-up, tbh), they will find a way to contact you. Or if you both have DirectTV!
i blocked my ex on everything but she some how managed to message me through direct tv pic.twitter.com/xpPZPSCgLB
— vik vaughn (@CabBish_) July 14, 2016
If not, they’ll send a friend or carrier pigeon.
Plus, c’mon, let’s not be dramatic, you didn’t block them, they can still try and send you stuff (not that they should). There’s a whole industry based on exes sending unwanted messages–there’s a book!
BUT HOW ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO KNOW I’M DOING BOMBTASTIC?
OKAY, if you really are doing bombtastic then you shouldn’t care as to whether or not your ex knows it or not. Who cares about that plebeian? They’re a peon, they suck, and now they’re not part of your life anymore!
Live your life for you, because if you care about them seeing how you’re doing, you’re living your life for them. When you live your life for someone else, you aren’t living it to the fullest. There is no one else that you should be living for, except for yourself. And trust me, you don’t owe them anything else! In the words of Rihanna, and T.I., “just live yo life.”
Plus, to be honest, social media and gossip spread like wildfire, so if you marry the CEO of Tinder or something, even his mother is going to know.
Guys don’t dump girls that they want in their lives…so why do you want them in yours?
HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET BACK TOGETHER IF I DELETE HIM?
“REMEMBER- guys don’t dump girls that they want in their lives…so why do you want them in yours?”
No, but seriously, if he wanted you, he wouldn’t have dumped you. He knew what he was risking, and this is just one of the minor things…
Plus, like DirectTV Twitter man, if he really wants to find you, he will. I promise. (PLUS, I’m just talking about deleting them, your girl said nothing about blocking them!)
(Please don’t start thinking about how he hasn’t tried to find you, that’s just a sad hole you don’t want to go into).
But on a serious note, trust me, I know it’s hard. It was hard for me, and I lowkey almost cried when I did it. It’s closing the book on someone who once was the most important person in the entire world to you, and giving up the hope that the two of you will ever reconcile (at least that’s how I viewed things when I did it). But sometimes you need closure, and to not see the stupid videos that your ex keeps sharing with everyone, or the pictures of him tagged by his aunt at their family wedding in Mexico.
No one deserves that.
So, take a deep breath, blast your power anthem, and just press that button.
And please, tell me if you get a message on DirectTV.
(On the subject of deleting their number, I delete the number but send it to a reliable friend in case I ever need it, for a serious reason. Said reliable friend will decide if it is necessary. As for their photos, I upload them all to a Dropbox that I never open).