Because of National Boyfriend Day, and because I’m tired of seeing people post collages of their boyfriends when the only eggplant I have in my life is the Tupperware of baba ganoush in my fridge, I have decided to round up all of the posts on The Unabridged Sass about love, terrible dates, stalking your ex on social media, and all of those comedically tragic things.

From emotional, to hilarious, I’ve got it all.

MUSINGS ON LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS:

Your Failed Relationship Does Not Define You– Why your failed relationship does not define you, and that failed relationships really just mean that you were not meant to be.

Why I Bother– Why I keep agreeing to go on terrible dates.

Twenty One Things I Learned By Twenty One– Love lessons that I’ve learned by twenty one (spoiler alert: a lot of them are about falling apart and breaking up).

I Don’t Believe In Love– This post is a lot less jaded than it seems, I promise.

What I’m Looking For, Exactly.– What I’m exactly looking for, in this crazy world.

HANDLING YOUR EX:

A Guide to…Handling Rejection Gracefully– It happens to the best of us.

A Guide to…Running Into Your Ex– This probably feels very pointed.

A Guide to…Cutting the Social Media Cord– Please don’t DirectTV message anyone after reading this.

TERRIBLE DATES:

The Worst Date of My Entire Life– This happened a year ago, and I still consider it to be the worst.

Quite Possibly The New Worst Date of My Life (My Date With Racism)– Almost as terrible as the first, although I will admit that the Quilette werewolf was not that bad looking.

SINGLE AF:

I’m Totally a Millennial Spinster– Owning TF out of this.

POSITION AVAILABLE: Blogger Boyfriend– Interested parties, please send your resume, cover letter, and references to unabridgedsass@gmail.com