There are always nine million thoughts running through my head; it’s absolute madness. Sometimes I’ll think of the randomest things, and sometimes these randomest things will be provoked by something that happens. I like to think that’s how life works–a random thing is a stimulus for a random thought, and that thought can either pass away or spontaneously explode into a crazy idea that just keeps on blooming.
I mean, that’s how The Unabridged Sass began. But I digress.
I’ve talked about my stances on relationships, and I’ve told all of you that I don’t have a significant other. But I’ve also told you that the thing that motivates me to keep an open mind, and not retire from dating with a dozen puppies and my blog, is the idea of some guy out there who is perfect. Sparks, chemistry, magic, I’ve told you all that I want that feeling. My friends say I’m picky, but I believe that I’m holding out for something genuine, real, and perfect. Someone who is so perfect for me, that they must have been handcrafted to be my pair.
When I think of a soulmate, I think of my parents and their perfect relationship. They met when they were in college, and although they laugh whenever I say so, they are perfect for each other. They perfectly complement each other, and have been partners for over twenty years, navigating the highs and lows of their relationship. Neither one is selfish or demanding, but they both are always looking out for the other, and caring for the other. They both make each other laugh, and they proved to me that falling in love with your best friend is a really amazing thing. Seeing a strong, healthy relationship like my parents’ really set the bar high for me.
I’m twenty one, and I’m in no rush to meet my soul mate (but you know, it would be nice..). And to be honest, think the universe is making it a whole thing, just to laugh at the experiences that I’ve had. One in particular stands out, it’s everyone’s favorite story… the date I had with the super racist guy with the man bun.
(Please read, it is such a tragically funny story)
Long story short, this guy was tremendously racist, and a total neanderthal. He went down as the second worst date that I’ve been on, and my friends and I laughed about how crazy racist and crazy dumb he was. And that was the end of that.
Fast forward months later, until last week, when one of my friends sent me a Snapchat.
“Look it’s (Man Bun’s name)!,” the Snapchat was captioned.
“I don’t know who that is,” I wrote back.
“He’s a bouncer and he works at (club)! He’s dating my best friend.”
“Doesn’t ring a bell,” I replied.
And I sat there, in complete and utter shock.
MAN BUN WAS SOMEONE’S BOYFRIEND? Someone wanted to willingly spend time with him? (Sorry guys, I’m only human…)
And as I did what any normal young lady would do, and looked them up on Instagram, my jaw dropped straight to the ground, possibly cracking the foundation of my apartment building. I had thought that it was a joke, but it was true.
Man Bun was someone’s boyfriend.
He was someone’s soulmate.
As that thought was in my mind, I could not stop thinking about it. He was someone’s soul mate. He was someone’s ideal person, the guy of someone’s dreams. This crazy racist, super inconsiderate buffoon was someone’s perfect match! He was the person that someone would kill to be with, the person that someone had been waiting for–for a long, long time.
This thought blew my mind, and then I paused.
And this fact was true for every guy I had gone on a date with, and
tossed away politely declined.
They were someone’s perfect person.
And not only that, but my perfect person is someone that some other girl has rejected.
This made me think.
We talk about settling, and we talk about compromise. We talk about not being too picky, and lowering standards. But the truth of the matter is, you should never lower your standards or compromise what you want…because there is an individual out there who is perfect for you. And you should never settle for less than that.
Because that person that isn’t right, or that person that you think is flawed, there is someone out there who would kill to be with them. Isn’t that crazy?
Someone that you might find utterly repulsive, is someone else’s perfect person. Someone that you find less than ideal, is the epitome of perfection for some other human out there.
And shouldn’t you deserve to be with your soulmate? Shouldn’t they?
It is the day before what would have been another yearly anniversary in my last relationship, and it’s made me think about a lot of things. It made me think about how for quite some time, I believed that guy to be my soulmate. But looking back, I could not have been more wrong.
There was so much about him that was wrong for me, and so much about me that was wrong for him.. and now, I’m glad that he has the chance to find his soulmate, as I am glad that I have the chance to find mine. It’s crazy to think how much we compromise on, and how much we tolerate when it comes to relationships.
Now, I do believe that relationships require compromise and communication, but it is irrefutable that there are some things that you cannot compromise or change about yourselves–and shouldn’t you be with someone who loves those things?
She told me this belief about a red string that connects two people together. Regardless of race, time, place, circumstance…anything. These two individuals are destined to be together, and although the string might be tangled, stretch far apart, it will never, ever break. The two will always be connected, regardless of everything.
I’m sure the next comment is, “Chrissey, what the hell? This can’t be what you actually think? But you’re so sassy and brazen.”
But I’m also a secret romantic.
I think that everyone has a soulmate, as cheesy as it might be. And I never said they’d be easy to find…they don’t call it one in a million for nothing.