Welcome to Millennial Roundtable, where Chrissey asks her loved ones candid-ass, occasionally pointed questions about relationships, life, career, and pretty much anything!
I’ve always wanted The Unabridged Sass to be a fun and creative outlet. I love the concept of collaboration and I think it’s fascinating how everyone has a different viewpoints and perspectives.
Although my loved ones know that I blog, it’s never been something directly in their face until I asked them to participate in this (and future) Millennial Roundtables.
The question for this week is, “What would you do if you met someone that you liked but you were in a relationship already?”
(Lol does this seem pointed?)
Something that’s been in hot discussion recently is what transpired between me and that guy, it’s brought up a lot of conversations in my friend group about morals, relationship ethics, and beliefs! So, before I tell you my (long) answer, let’s see what my friends have to say!
R, Female, 21
H, Female, 21
J, Male, 21
T, Female, 21
M, Female, 22
L, Female, 20
I’ve thought about this situation recently, mostly when I was sitting with my friend (aka the boy from the mentioned blog posts), and helping him figure out this situation. And obviously, I was the “someone you met” for his relationship.
I’ve thought about what all of us should have done, and specifically, to answer this situation I put myself in his shoes. If I was in a long term relationship but met someone else that I had romantic feelings for, I honestly think I would have to reevaluate my relationship.
In every relationship I have been in, I have never had the urge to cheat or felt a romantic attraction to anyone else. So if that situation arose, I would really have to look at my relationship and see what is going on.
I believe that everyone has a soul mate, and I think that if I was dating someone and I started to feel romantic feelings for someone, I would really need to consider ending the relationship or letting them go.
Because it’s not fair for either of you if you’re in a relationship where one person has feelings for another person. You both deserve better, and deserve to be with individuals that you care about so much that you cannot even imagine having eyes for someone else. And if you aren’t giving 100% to your relationship, don’t you think you and the other person deserve better?
I think that it just happens sometimes, but choosing how to handle a situation is crucial, especially if you could hurt two people. I think that if you really want to pursue someone else but you’re dating someone already, you need to see if this second person is worth it, and also ask yourself if this is something that is constantly going to happen–if you’re always going to get bored. If you think they’re worth it, then you need to end things with your significant other. But don’t ever cheat.
Being cheated on is the worst; that feeling of having total faith in someone and then having them break that trust is completely heartbreaking.
Don’t pursue someone unless you’re planning on being with them or moving forward–one thing that annoyed me so much about PUBH boy was that he took me on a date and made it seem like there was potential… when there clearly was not yet. Not only did he cheat and mess up with his girlfriend but he totally inconvenienced me… and wasted both of our times!
But honestly, this whole question could probably avoided if you just tell people upfront that you’re dating someone, and then making wise choices on handling situations. Remember that it’s not just you in this situation–there’s two other hearts too.