I’m going to admit something that will make some people shake their heads. Not just once, but many times in my life, I have chosen myself. There have been instances where I’m involved with someone and things and are rough and complicated, and I chose myself. I chose to leave, I knew that I deserved much better, and I didn’t want to wait for anyone, so I chose myself.
My friends joke that there’s been so many instances where someone has asked me to wait for them (I can think of three, right now) only to have me shake my head, but I have never stayed or waited for a single one of them. I think it makes you stronger–knowing what you deserve and leaving behind any nonsense that’s presented to you.
It’s not easy, but you should never choose someone over yourself.
In the movies, the girl rarely chooses herself. She chooses the guy, and she acts as if the world is dandy and fine because she chose the guy…as if having him is the only thing that she needs for sustenance. She never puts herself first, she never puts her needs and hopes and dreams first, she puts the guy and the relationship first. Remember when Lauren didn’t go to Paris in The Hills, and she chose the guy? She was the girl who didn’t go to Paris, didn’t follow her dreams, and chose the boy.
(And Hollywood will never tell you this, but I’m sure that more than half of those unhealthy relationships end in a break-up.) Choose me over we. Choose yourself, it isn’t selfish, and it isn’t wrong. Relationships take time, they take effort, and they can be a struggle, and if someone is not worth all that you are putting in, you are better off without them.
A true, genuine, and loving relationship will never force you to make a decision like this, so if you are in a place where you have to choose him or you, please just choose yourself. Choose to rid yourself of the garbage that you don’t deserve, and choose to move forward and find something fulfilling and loving. Choose your own happiness, dreams, welfare, laughter, and progress. But do not let anyone hold you back.
You cannot put someone else’s wishes before yours, especially if it is tearing you apart.
So choose yourself, and promise yourself that you will focus on your hopes and dreams, and your own personal success. Because none of those things will ever be selfish, leave you, or break your heart.
Work on who you are, always be working on bettering yourself and growing positively. And put that effort that you put into strife, to build yourself a beautiful life.