On Patience and Worrying


When I was a senior in high school, I was extremely paranoid and always anxious when it came to college. I applied to too many schools, an excessive amount, as my classmates applied to a few promising prospects. I freaked out, and was always nervous and worried about college–where I would do, what I would bring, and who I would meet.

And when none of my college acceptance letters came in, I began freaking out even more.

One Saturday, when I was on the absolute cusp of losing it, my mother said, “Which school are you going to go to?”

“I don’t know, I’ll have to wait for my letters.”

My heart beat faster, as I got more and more nervous.

What was she talking about, what school was I going to go to? I had gotten no acceptance letters!

I sat there, silent and nervous, as she pulled out a stack of envelopes out of her purse.

“I have your letters right here.” My mother handed me the envelopes, nonchalantly.

My jaw dropped, straight to the ground, possibly cracking the wood flooring of my parent’s living room.

“Mom… you had my letters all along??!? WHAT THE HECK?”

I inspected the hostage letters, and realized that each of then had already been ripped open!! She had already read my letters and everything!!!

“MOM, you opened my mail?!” I said, shocked. To this day, I still do not know why I was so incredibly shocked, because that is exactly something that she would do.

“I think you should go to (college I ended up going to).”

In a matter of seconds, my perspective had completely shifted. Of me, my future, and everything surrounding me. In that moment, I was of course annoyed with my mother for not saying anything and letting me think for weeks that I was a failure, but now looking back that was the most happy and relieved I had ever felt in my life.

And now, looking back, after graduation, I think that this is one of the funniest things that has ever happened to me.

In the time between applying and finding out that I got into the schools I applied to, I was always worrying. I was anxious, nervous, scared, worried…and most of all, I had completely lost hope and doubted myself. I was self conscious, insecure, and had knocked myself down in the meantime.

And I didn’t need to just be patient…but I needed to also be positive. I needed to hold on to my faith and hope, and not to let it go so easily.

I think we often forget that things take time, especially important things. We have to let things naturally evolve, and let the universe take its course. Things aren’t always going to happen immediately and in an instant, and although patience can be hard…it is necessary.



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