I graduated this semester.
I graduated from (school here) in three and a half years and got my Bachelors of Science in Biological Sciences. It’s this crazy and overwhelming feeling, and right now, for the first time in I am actually excited that I graduated from college! There definitely has been some ups and downs, and it has been a ridiculously crazy path, but I ended up exactly where I needed to be, although I must admit that this was not where I thought that I would be.
I went into college planning on finishing in two to three years and going straight to pharmacy school (I know…crazy). I thought that was exactly what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, and that I was going to live in Chicago forever…. and that is definitely not what I want to do. It just isn’t for me, and that’s part of what college is about, figuring exactly what you want to do, and then going straight for it.
In pursuing my degree, I’ve worked a variety of different jobs–some for student housing, one for a hospitality house, but in working these jobs I’ve realized that I not only have a knack for biological sciences, but also development. Research and development, problem solving, and using resources to the absolute best of my ability (among other things). So, after talking to my parents, and having them give me their support, I have officially decided to pursue biological research and/or development, and have been applying for positions.
And in applying for positions, that has opened a whole lot in my life. Although I think that my mother always dreamed of having me a short drive away, she gave me her blessing to go out and venture wherever my career took me. Of course, I’m sure she knew that I was going to what I wanted regardless, because I am so strong willed and ambitious, but I truly did want her support. I definitely wanted it, because I couldn’t leave Chicago knowing that something was holding me back from leaving.
(Not in a negative way at all, but you would never want to move away from your family knowing that they weren’t pleased at all!)
I was done with school, my friends had accepted that there was a chance that I would be leaving, and they had all given me their words of encouragement, total support and love. Lauren already commented that she’s going to laugh if I end up staying in Chicago, but she’s going to be happy because I’ll be around! My friends have always been there for me, and I’m so blessed for each and every one of them. Today, Lauren came over and ate and ordered sushi with me, as we watched throwback movies and sifted through the abundance of jobs on the Internet. (We watched Bring it On and The Lizzie McGuire Movie!)
And I’m not going to lie. I’m one of those weird people that hates being uncertain or unsure…so applying to jobs always makes me nervous! I’m also a dreamer too, so the positions that I totally imagined myself in…. I definitely got excited for this! I imagined myself in each position, in each city, and I admit that this definitely sounds like me getting my hopes up when I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help but dream a little!
I definitely am nervous but excited about this whole thing, especially since this is my first big step in my career. So if it wouldn’t be too much, I would really appreciate it if you could keep me in your thoughts (or prayers) as I navigate this whole thing. Fingers crossed!
Also, the question that everyone’s wondering about… my “person.” Regardless of whether or not I’m leaving Chicago, I’m definitely ending the chapter (or book?) regarding my undergraduate career. So, instead of divulging who won the Bernie VS Max fiasco, I will just refer to my “person” as Garrett. I think in doing so, some anonymity is retained and I won’t feel guilty about spilling the details (even thought this is a personal entry and my reflection upon my life and choices? On my blog and domain?). I don’t know, I’m rambling.
Anyways, Garrett knows about me probably leaving. And although in the beginning he was very cool about the whole thing and tremendously encouraging, I have found that as time passes he has slowly been disappearing. As this whole Chrissey departure becomes more and more of a reality…he’s fading more and more.
And to be fully honest, I would be lying if I said that I didn’t see this coming a mile away, solely because of who he is. It’s just his nature to avoid complication situations and feelings, and I understand that. And I’m not reprimanding him for not being around, because let’s face it….I honestly don’t need him to. I don’t need anything potentially holding me back, or adding more conflict to this situation. And more importantly, I don’t need him because my friends have always been the absolutely best support system in the world.
And I’m not saying this in a way where I’m trying to sound okay, because as heartless as this may sound, the only person I want to worry about right now is myself. And the person I need to put first, and the individual that I need to look out for is myself. And these choices that I make, and these decisions I am going to make will affect me and my career the most, so they take precedence.
I’ve said before that you have to choose yourself. And this remains true, even now that I am in this situation. You can’t be that girl that didn’t go to Paris, like Lauren Conrad. And I refuse to be the girl that stayed back in Chicago for someone. For a career? I would stay back in Chicago in a heartbeat, for a career. That way I could keep getting Aloha Eats and having brunch at Batter and Berries! But for a boy? Definitely not.
And I’m not sorry for this, and I don’t think it makes me selfish or unromantic. Because your career is never going to break your heart or leave your side. And it is, right now, the most important thing to me. So it requires my full dedication, focus, and love.
I’m going to keep applying for jobs, and keep praying that the perfect opportunity knocks on my door. There’s a LOT of exciting things that I’ve dreamed of, but I promise that I will keep things hush hush until things are official.
Although I usually blog about other things, I really love posts and moments like these when I get to really share things with all of you, and reflect on what’s going on. Do you guys like these little reflections/updates/recaps? Are these interesting or are they just annoying? I’d love to hear your feedback.
If they suck, you can tell me…I’ll just go buy a diary lol.
Have a great week everyone! Good luck.