And as you can see, I’m not perfect. I am actually breaking out on the left (my right) side area…but I’ll show you in the following photos.
In sunlight you can actually see that my skin tone has started to become uneven. It’s a tiny bit scattered, but if you look closely in the sunlight you can notice that there is very pale/white little splotches on my cheek. I also have two small random moles and my skin isn’t absolutely flawless. And I will never tell you guys that it’s flawless.
I think the most noticeable difference between made up me and my bare face is my eyebrows and my eye makeup. I always feel a little strange without my eyebrows done and a little eyeliner. I could care less about the face makeup, but I think the eye makeup makes a huge difference.
Three years ago, when I first met Beny we were sitting in my room watching movies. It was getting pretty late, and I had already changed into comfy shorts and a t-shirt (obviously not in front of him!). I had mentioned that I should wash off my makeup, and he said “go ahead.”
I hesitated for a moment, and was nervous about having him see me without makeup, but I grabbed a baby wipe and started to wipe off my face.
Slowly. Because I was nervous. I didn’t want him to think that I was absolutely ugly without my makeup. I mean, I was eighteen… I was young.
And then he asked-and I do not know to this day why he decided to ask this of me when we had only had been on like one official date-if I could wash off only half my face. He said, “You should wash off only half your face so we can see the difference.”
I KNOW, what the hell? Ugh, the stories I would tell you guys if I could…
Anyways, I obliged, and I was incredibly nervous. Super nervous. He looked at me, and didn’t say anything, and said, “The only real difference is your eyes. They look different.”
And I breathed a sigh of relief.
And now, looking back, I’m a little embarrassed that I was so nervous about what a boy was going to think about me, without makeup. And I don’t know why it mattered so much that he thought I was pretty (spoiler alert, he did and he does), when there are so many worse things out there to be besides unpretty.
And I don’t have anything to hide in front of you guys.
I wrote this post because I was thinking about makeup and why we wear makeup. I honestly wear makeup because it’s fun and I like how it makes me look and feel. I don’t think I wear too much and I think that I naturally enhance my features.
Except my eyebrows. I admit that I have completely plucked and shaped them so they are completely unlike my natural and god-given eyebrows. But that’s okay… because it’s my decision!
And even if I wore tons of makeup, and hid my features–it would still be my choice.
I used to totally go makeup cray–because I didn’t know how to enhance my features and to buy products that suited what I wanted and what I liked. But now, I’m happy with what I use and what I do, because it makes me feel confident and supplements my natural looks. And I think a big part of that is being comfortable with myself and believing that I am beautiful in my own way–makeup or not.
The beauty that matters is not the one that you create with winged liner or bright lipstick. It’s the beauty you create with your heart.
What is the most beautiful thing about you?