The thing I love about this blog is that it has no bounds. Some days I write about my favorite lipstick, or cupcakes I’ve tried. Sometimes I write about Taco Bell or what song I’ve been playing on repeat. But today, I’m going to write a personal post.
When Beny and I were dating, for our one year anniversary he bought me this beautiful framed canvas print. It had a vintage-y graphic of the world, with the phrase “Adventure awaits” scrawled on it in cursivey script. I absolutely loved it, because that was something that we had both wanted to do together–adventure.
That print is still one of my favorite things, and although the meaning to me now is completely different than it was when it was first gifted to me. I had previously believed it to represent the adventures that awaited the two of us.
But now, it reminds me of the adventures that await me.
I had thought that I would graduate and stay in Chicago for the rest of my life. I had never imagined that I would be searching nationwide for a job… but after Max told me he was moving to San Antonio and going to France to teach English-and after I had that diploma in my hands (metaphorically, I just got my diploma today)-I realized that I could go anywhere.
Like my blog, there was no bounds. I could go anywhere and everywhere that my little heart desired. And so, I made the scariest, most impulsive and spontaneous decision that I had ever made in my life.
I decided to leave Chicago. It isn’t because I don’t love Chicago, because I absolutely do. I love driving down Lake Shore Drive as the lake sparkles and the city lights twinkle. I love having brunch at Wishbone and tacos from Del Seoul. Aloha Eats and Portillo’s cheese fries. I love the smell of the chocolate factory that gets extremely prominent during winter and walking down Taylor Street or Milwaukee. Falafel from Sultan’s Market, and The Chicago Cubs. Oh, and Garrett’s mix of caramel corn and cheddar popcorn. I absolutely adore Chicago.
One day, I want to come back and live in a Lincoln Park brownstone. But I recently graduated college and I’m twenty one years old. And I want to experience new places and go out and about.
So, I have been applying to jobs nationwide. And I literally am going wherever my career takes me. Some people laughed at my response, but I am one hundred percent leaving it up to the universe.
It’s definitely a scary thing to do, and leaving my friends and loved ones in Chicago is going to be tremendously hard, but I know that we are all going great places and going to do wonderful things. I’m just leaving sooner because I graduated early!
I could have stayed in Chicago, I could have kept living in this wonderful city and signed another lease for years and stayed here forever.
But we weren’t meant to stay in one place forever, and we will never grow if we don’t explore. Being exposed to new places, and having new experiences is how I grow.
(Plus, I love food and I feel like I’ve kind of maxed Chicago out, lol).
And if there was any time for me to get tossed out of my comfort zone, it would be now.
Because I’m free, and I have my entire life ahead of me. I’ve had to make a lot of tough decisions (and I’m not talking about which clothes to bring with!) and to have a lot of difficult conversations, but my heart is telling me that this is the right decision.
There have been many times in my life that I have been stressed and freaking out over decisions–I’ll make lists and charts and overanalyze things. And afterwards, I’ll always wonder or think about whether it was the right thing. I tend to freak out a lot.
But in this whole thing, although I have admittedly freaked out a little and been a little scared, my gut and my heart feels calm. Because I know that this is the right decision. I just have to be fearless.
I moved out of Chicago this morning. I hate sappy goodbyes so I managed to say a simple “see you later” to all of my friends. Of course I got the sappy texts after we all pretended to be fine…
That’s how you say goodbye to me. Fast, slightly impersonal goodbye to the face and then send sappy texts. I’m going to really miss all my friends, but let’s be honest, they’ll probably come visit wherever I go. And plus my parents live in the suburbs of Chicago!
Alright you all, it’s been a long week of saying goodbyes and packing… I’m going to sit down and take my well-deserved break. Sorry I was so MIA this week! I hope you all have been doing wonderfully!
What was the scariest decision you’ve ever made?