When People Let You Down

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I feel like when you blog about things, you prove your credibility in other ways. Often through successful writing, recommendations, or results. Something along those lines.

But I swear to you all, boyfriend or no boyfriend, when I write about relationships I know what I’m talking about (if you went on the dates I’ve been on, you would too…). I do not need a significant other to be credible, okay?

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I have been through hell and back, and dealt with some of the stupidest BS that you can think of. I’ve thought that I was going to spend the rest of my life with someone forever, only to spontaneously have a break-up. I’ve had the most insane chemistry with someone, only to have them move away forever. I’ve been through the highs and lows, and I’ve been through pretty much it all. And because of these experiences, I feel like I can be honest and truly tell you all what I think.

My friends always come to me, and ask me for advice or what my viewpoints are on things. I’ve never given them the sugarcoated answer, and I have always given them the one hundred percent genuine truth, just like I give all of you. It’s just part of who I am as a person, I don’t think I could ever give advice or recommendations that I don’t believe in.

And my advice for when guys suck? Just keep living your life, and move forward.

(Suck, as in a broad term to mean that they did something that elicits a negative reaction from you)

When I made the decision to move away from Chicago, I made plans to say goodbye to someone. I won’t disclose the very specific details or identity of this person, but he was a guy and we had a bit of history. It was a very big deal, as I didn’t think I would ever see him again, and there was so much in the air. And instead of coming to say goodbye and talk to me about everything, all he did was pretend that I wasn’t leaving for real, and avoid me.

And I just kept packing. It happened, and I was fine. As as I continued to spend time with my friends, say my other goodbyes, and pack my things up, my friends watched in shock as I didn’t remotely react to the really terrible behavior of this guy. And I didn’t, because regardless of what he was going to do, my life still moved on.

(And I still moved out of Chicago, LOL!)

Life still continues, even if your relationship with that person doesn’t.

The thing with people is, you can’t control how they feel or how they act. You really can’t. No matter how much you hope they will change how they act or feel, or you hope for the best, you cannot change how a person acts. So please, don’t waste your time or energy or get emotionally drained. The only thing you can do is regret how they treated you.

And the way to do that? Keep it moving.

It isn’t worth your thoughts, your tears, or your anger. And the truth, although unbearably difficult to hear, is that you don’t need someone in your life who doesn’t fully appreciate or value you.

Recently with The New Year, I looked back on all of the amazing moments that I had. I was there in Wrigley Field when The Cubs won the World Series for the first time in 108 years. I remembered walking through an incredibly diverse campus as the students protested against Donald Trump. I remember endless nights with my favorite people, sitting around drinking wine or beer and eating snacks, and I remember eating Popeye’s with Ashley late at night. Those times were what stood out to me, not the times when I was upset with some guy or they let me down.

Because at the end of the day, you aren’t going to remember the times you were disappointed. You’re going to remember the unforgettable moments with the people you love. And the only way you’re going to have those moments is if you don’t dwell on dudes that don’t deserve to be the subject of any thoughts. You have those moments when you choose to live your life, with your loved ones.

Sometimes I feel like we are conditioned to care, or to make it a major thing when some guy lets us down. But we are free, independent entities, allowed to make any choice we please. And for me, the choice as always been easy. I choose to let it go, and continue living my life.

Because regardless of that person, and whatever they did, life still moves on. You will still wake up the next morning, and time doesn’t stop. You will get paid the week they made you mad, and the week they don’t. Your life doesn’t stop for anybody, and you should never make it.

What is the silliest person you ever dwelled on? What happened?

Chrissey

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4 thoughts on “When People Let You Down

  1. Aw Chrissey, I love this!!! You are so wise and right that we can’t live our lives waiting and hoping for someone to change their behavior. My mom always used to tell me that having expectations about another person’s reaction is a recipe for a let-down. Like if I expect someone to react with sympathy, then I’m just setting myself up for disappointment. Instead, she told me to never expect or hope for a specific type of reaction from people.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Charlotte! It’s a necessary, but difficult lesson to learn! My mom too told me never to have an expectation for someone’s reaction! It just leads to disappoint and hurt feelings in the long run!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. LOL @ the Tina Fey picture!

    Liked by 1 person

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