My friend Charlotte recently wrote a post on embarrassment and how hard it can be to “come out” with your blogging. I could not stop thinking about how hard it was for me to share my blogging with my friends and loved ones. And then I thought to myself, “I wonder how many other people out there really struggled with sharing their blog…” And so, I decided to write this blog post. At like, midnight. But that’s just what happens when you’re Chrissey.
When I first started blogging, I was very secretive about it. But I was the annoying kind of secretive where I would accidentally mention it, or be extremely awkward whenever someone asked me about it. I remember people would ask me to write down the URL or share it with them, and I was always incredibly anxious about it and very embarrassed. I would be hesitant, and I would always say, “oh but it isn’t anything special, it’s nothing.”
As my Twitter was connected to my WordPress, I would always hurry after writing a blog post to quickly delete the tweet, so that no one in my “real life” would know about my blog life. As foolish and as childish as it sounded, I was just embarrassed of people making fun of me and judging me. And as we all know now, that is definitely not something that I care about now, but trust me… we’ll get to that.
As my blog grew in popularity, and in many other ways, I had a realization that I shouldn’t be embarrassed or ashamed. After all, I worked hard and I genuinely created something that I was immensely amazed by. I had created something of my own, that I had poured my heart and soul into, and that I was proud of (as self-centered as that may sound). I was utilizing my skills and passions, and working on a project that made me profusely happy. So, why did it matter what people thought, and why was I embarrassed?
It wasn’t one swoop or an instant moment when suddenly everyone knew about my blog. It was a gradual change, to me talking about blogging more, me freely sharing my URL and blog with those who asked. I stopped deleting the linked tweets, and I put my URL in my Instagram. It was something that I wasn’t ashamed of, and although it was perfectly normal to be embarrassed at the time, I wasn’t anymore.
People asked me about my blog all the time, and people in my daily life would mention it. And of course, because I am always honest, I’ll divulge some people said some not-so-stellar things about me blogging.
You see, like any other human, there are some people I’ve lost contact with or don’t speak to anymore. And of course, as anticipated, they said a lot of negative things about me and blogging. They said things like, “Who does she think she is, blogging?” And, “I bet no one reads her stupid blog,” or, “Chrissey’s so stupid, please.” You know, the typical immature petty stuff.
I’m not the type of girl that cries “boo hoo,” I’m more like the type that asks, “what the actual f?” (Sorry, that’s just me). And I’m not going to lie, I cared. Even if it was only for a brief moment, I did. Because when things matter to us, we care–and even though those people didn’t matter to me, my blog definitely did.
After all, isn’t that a blogger’s worst nightmare? Having all the people from your outside life discover your blog and ridicule you and your content?
But then, I remembered one of my favorite quotes from Mindy Kaling.
“People get scared when you try to do something, especially when it looks like you’re succeeding. People do not get scared when you’re failing. It calms them. But when you’re winning, it makes them feel like they’re losing or, worse yet, that maybe they should’ve tried to do something too, but now it’s too late. And since they didn’t, they want to stop you. You can’t let them.”
And the thing is, she’s right.
People don’t care if you’re idle and doing nothing. They aren’t intimidated or scared if you are bad at blogging or bad at whatever you do. They get scared when you do something amazing or you take a risk. It freaks them out when you do something, or you’re working on something that looks like it’s going to be wonderful. And I’m not here saying that my blog is going to be award winning and that I’m going to travel the world for free.
That’s not my goal.
My goal is to have a space where I can write about what I please and share my passions with all of you–and I believe my goal has been long accomplished. Because I do this because it makes me happy and it’s something I absolutely love.
And so, that is how I’m not embarrassed anymore, and additionally how I don’t really care what others think. All that matters is what I’m doing, and how I feel about that. And what I get to do is write my heart out, and share and collaborate with all of you.
It’s actually fun having people know you blog–my friend’s boyfriend actually asked me for help on fashion/lifestyle blogs since he knew I was a blogger. And people in my daily life always ask me for random recommendations and tips and tricks!
And it’s absolutely terrifying to “come out” and share your blog with the world. I was terrified, and so were many others before me, but sometimes you just have to be a little bit fearless.
Do you share your blog with people in your “real life?”