I wrote a long post and then promptly deleted it. It was a bunch of things that I needed to get off my chest. It addressed a bunch of different things, from mean girls in blogging to ghosts from my past in real life. I’m human and part of being human is getting frustrated and a little upset every once in a while. It’s kind of, sort of part of life. But like I said, I promptly deleted it.
I came to the realization that I didn’t care anymore. People often think that when it comes to things you have to stand up and react or back down as a coward. Except there’s actually a third option… you can just not care. I know it sounds silly and it sounds trivial.
But coming from someone who used to hold on to a lot of unnecessary animosity, resentment and a whole bunch of other negativity, it is so much easier to just freaking let it go. Being petty and being a bitch takes energy because that means you have to actually give a f.
Jess is one of the coolest people I have met. She’s kind, wise, and always extraordinarily positive. She’s like an older blogging sister and has given me so much advice on career, life, boys, and everything. But I think the best thing she has taught me is to just keep focusing on myself and to keep to myself. Ignore your distractions and ignore the negativity from others and literally just keep doing you.
For me, this is easy in real life. But in blogging it’s a lot harder. I think it’s because I love my blog so much that it means something to me. So I’m not a fan of people who are assholes. But the truth is, blogging has become so much better since I’ve been focusing on myself.
There are people out there who criticize every blogger’s move or action, that obsess over stats and another person’s success or growth. And although at one point they phased me… they don’t anymore.
Literally in life and in blogging, focus on yourself. Stay in your lane and celebrate your achievements and growth. Comparison truly is the thief of joy… and some people are going to be negative. Don’t let them affect you.
And I’ve been adapting it for my life as well.
I’ve learned that in focusing on yourself a lot of things happen. I think the first thing that happens is that you lose some relationships. It’s natural, honestly. You focus on yourself a little more and you don’t have time to humor or make yourself talk to some people who you wouldn’t naturally and normally talk to. I think regardless how busy Lolo has ever been or Ashley has been with Ella we talk at least once every few days.
It’s okay to have an inner circle and that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. There’s few people that I consider to actually be close to me. After graduation I came to the really clear conclusion that there was a lot of people that I had to force myself to interact with regularly.
There are just some people that suck the life out of you and are emotionally and mentally draining. Some people are just toxic and negative and it’s okay to have some people leave your life. Some relationships aren’t meant to last a lifetime.
The second thing that happens is that you learn so much about yourself. You learn your wants and wishes and discover what your hopes and dreams are. You unearth your full potential and truly realize what you are capable of. And right now, through this entire process, I have learned that I can truly accomplish anything that I set myself out to.
At first I felt like I was being a little selfish but then I thought about things and realized that this is the time for me to focus on myself. I just graduated and I’m making progress towards my career and future. This is a time of endless potential and so much damn change, so it’s the time for me to focus on myself.
And the truth is, since I’ve done this… I have been infinitely happier blogging and living my life. It’s not rocket science or brain surgery. Focus on yourself. You do you.
What is some good advice you’ve gotten?